Meatless Monday: Sloppy Faux

Like just about everybody, I’ve been trying to cut down on the amount of meat I eat. Local, organic veggies can get expensive, but even the cheapest, most hormone- and antibiotic-stuffed meat is even more so. Plus, I’ve got a weekly CSA full of veggies I’ve gotta use.

I’ve never been a fan of meat substitutes—veggie burgers, “chik’n,” Tofurky, and that horrific abomination facon—they just don’t do it for me. With one exception: A vegetarian college friend of mine named Jessica made some damn fine tacos using frozen soy crumbles for ground beef. “Jessie chow,” as we dubbed the stuff, actually tastes something like the real thing, at least in the heavily-seasoned dishes you’re gonna use it in anyway.

You can find frozen soy crumbles in many brands and styles at most supermarkets, but it’s kinda expensive. But I’ve found a much cheaper alternative: dried TVP.

Yes, textured vegetable protein (doesn’t it sound delicious?), that weird stuff your hippie aunt ate in the ’70s. It the same thing as those soy crumbles, only dehydrated, and much cheaper. I got the one-pound bag at left (equivalent to about four pounds of the frozen stuff) for $3.90 at Golden Temple. Check your local natural food store/hippie grocery for the stuff. It comes in big chunks that look like dog food and smaller ground-beef style pieces. Not the most photogenic stuff, but it’s pure vegetarian protein.

Dried TVP is really easy to use. You just combine equal volumes  of it and hot water and let stand for 10 minutes, then use anywhere you’d use cooked ground beef. (Except hamburgers. TVP makes a very bad hamburger.) 1 1/2 cups of TVP plus 1 1/2 cups of hot water equals roughly a pound.

My new favorite TVP application is Sloppy Faux. I based my recipe on Cooking Light‘s Chipotle Sloppy Joes, with a bunch of tweaks. I added Worcestershire and smoked paprika to add smokiness and meaty umami flavor, and sun-dried tomatoes for a little tartness and texture variation. This is good stuff, and pretty quick to make. Recipe below the photo.

Sloppy Faux
Serves 4

1 1/2 cups dried TVP (or 1 pound frozen soy crumbles)
2 tablespoons sun-dried tomatoes, roughly chopped
Vegetable oil
1/2 onion, sliced
1 green bell pepper, chopped and divided
8 oz. tomato sauce (canned or homemade, your choice)
1 canned chipotle pepper, chopped, plus 1 tablespoon sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon pimentón (smoked paprika)
4 hamburger buns

Combine TVP and 1 1/2 cups hot water in a bowl, stir, and let stand 10 minutes. (If using frozen crumbles, skip this step and cook crumbles a little longer before adding remaining ingredients.)

Place sun-dried tomatoes in a separate bowl, and add hot water to cover. Set aside.

Heat a small pan over medium-low heat. Add a tiny splash of oil, onion, and half of green pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until nicely caramelized, 10-15 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat a large pan over medium heat. Add about a tablespoon of oil and remaining green pepper. Cook, stirring, until softened and beginning to color, 2-3 minutes. Add TVP mixutre and cook, stirring, 30 seconds. Stir in tomato sauce, chipotle, Worcestershire, and pimentón. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and stir until heated through. If mixture is too thick, add some of the liquid from the sun-dried tomatoes until it reaches the desired consistency. Drain sun-dried tomatoes and stir into mixture.

Divide TVP mixture among bottom halves of buns. Top each with caramelized onion mixture.

Tip: What are you supposed to do with the rest of the can of chipotles? I run mine through the food processor and freeze it for later. It’ll stay good basically forever, and two tablespoons is equivalent to one pepper.